Are you still out there? I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t. I’ve been gone for entirely too long to expect you to hang around waiting on me. But, in case you did, here are my excuses for my absence:
- I taught at a writing conference in Florida in February. I prepared for it for at least 47 years and then didn’t sleep the entire time I was there. Most of it is a blur, but they did have a delicious dessert bar. I remember that part very clearly.
- I got sick. Chills, high fever, hallucinations, and a trip to the ER were involved. Hannah + Certain Antibiotics I Will be Sure to Never Take Again = Horrible Bad Things.
- The kids got sick. Every kind of disgusting bodily-fluid-producing illness you’ve ever heard of has passed through our house in the last few months. Josh even took care of our first vomiting-off-the-top-bunk scenario of loveliness just a few weeks ago. Fun times.
- I had a baby. This one, to be exact:
- That makes five. Five reasons. Five kids. And five hours I’ve slept since.
(Should I be blogging under these conditions?)
Many of you will see me around town in the next few weeks. My hair might be combed. I might say hello and remember your name. I might even be somewhere on time with all my gaggle in tow.
But DO NOT BE DECEIVED.
It is all a ruse.
I may look put together enough to not frighten your children nor drool on myself, but I, Hannah Hall, DO NOT have it all together. And, just because I have five kids now does NOT mean I know what I’m doing. In fact, I want to make something clear:
I am not Super Mom.
I am, at best, Maybe Sort of Kind of Okay Mom.
I am Eating Chocolate Chips Whilst Hiding in the Pantry Mom.
I am Crying After Overreacting at the Kids Whilst Eating Chocolate Chips Whilst Hiding in the Pantry Mom.
Because I am learning that very quickly and very clearly that I am inadequate for this job of momming five kids.
It’s the truth, plain and simple. Let’s not pretend otherwise.
A friend reminded me of Hebrews 1:3 recently, which says, in part, that Jesus upholds, or sustains, all things by the word of his power.
I have held onto that verse since because it’s good news for me. Maybe for you too. Maybe for any one of us who feel like we lack what it takes to do the assignment we’ve been given.
Because if Jesus sustains all things, then we don’t have to.
Our kids. Our marriages. Our households. Our finances. Our future plans. Jesus upholds it all.
Praise God, it is not on us.
Yes, we have work to do where He’s placed us, but apart from Him, it will not get done.
He sustains all things, remember?
I can’t be at every field trip. I can’t hear every story or kiss every boo boo. I can’t dole out the right discipline or make every moment teachable. I can’t conjure up joy or patience or kindness when I need it. I am deeply, horribly limited.
And it’s very good for my kids to know that.
They need to know that Mommy needs Jesus. They need to know that Jesus upholds and handles and sustains all things, including them. They need to know that they need Jesus too.
What a shame it would be if my kids saw me as having it all together, as Super Mom. They might, foolishly, confuse me for the One who really does Hold It All Together.
They might miss the joy that is releasing all of their cares to Him. They might forgo the rest that comes from trusting Him to handle all things. They might miss the grace that relieves them from pursuing perfection.
Truly, what a shame that would be.
Our life assignments are rarely easy, I’m learning, but remember how Jesus calmed the storm for his terrified friends? He said, “Peace. Be still.”
In other words, “Relax. I’ve got this.”
Take a breather, fellow Non-Super Human. We’re not meant to be perfect. It’s better that we’re not, in fact.
See? I told you it was good news.
Now let’s all go take a nap to celebrate, shall we?
Oh Hannah! So glad you are back and with another beautiful example of God’s loving hand! Congratulations to all, hope to read more of your adventures.
Thank you, Michelle! I’m just glad there are people patient enough to wait around with me. I appreciate it so much!
So glad to see you back, friend. And I love this–especially that verse. I need it. Need the reminder that there is no sustenance apart from Christ and it’s definitely okay for me to be leaning into him and not supporting myself. Now, excuse me, while I got back to preparing to teach at a writers conference. I have about 47 hours left to prepare 🙂
You’re going to be wonderful. And anyway, it’s almost here and then you’ll get it done and think, “Hmm…I could do that again.” It will be a blast and I wish I could be there to cheer you on. And Blue Ridge’s desserts are pretty decent too, so that helps. 🙂
Congratulations, Hannah, on baby Jack! Your kids are precious!
Thank you so much, Sally! Thank you for reading!
What a sweet family you’ve been given! Thank you for taking time out of the pantry to post these encouraging words. I just may leave my pantry also. :0)
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Susan. And it’s always good to know there are other pantry-hiders out there. I’d hate to think I was alone it was this. 🙂
Aunt Betty was just asking me if I had seen any new blogs. I told her I was sure you were too busy! What a wonderful example and reminder of whom we should be thinking is perfect, cause we are not “it” even on our best days! Kinda and others learn from us during trials and hard times, you’re teaching your kids well by your example! Praying for you, Hannah! Funny that naps now are rewards, huh? ❤❤❤
Hi Annette! It’s so good to hear from you. Thanks for being such a faithful reader and for keeping Aunt Betty in the loop. 😉 And, yes, naps are the ultimate reward around here. 🙂
I’m still here!! So glad you posted again! Miss you, friend.
I’m that mom hiding in the pantry eating chocolate chips (or leftover Easter candy), too. I guess I’m pretty good at the hiding–my 9 year old recently commented that the cookies were gone, but he couldn’t figure out when I ate them because he never saw it happen!
I’m so glad Jesus DOES have it all together for my kids!!
Hahaha. I finished off a chocolate cake the other day that I didn’t think anyone would notice…and then they did. Oops. 🙂
I never would have expected it (because pre-children Hannah thought she was going to be a pretty perfect mom) but parenting has shown me my need for Jesus more than anything else in my life. It’s daily sanctification. Which is good. But so very hard.
Glad you’re in it with me, Heather. I just wish we could be in the same pantry at the same time. 🙂
This…so much of this I needed to hear. Thank you!
Thank you for reading!
So glad to hear from you, Hannah! We were all blessed by your class at FCWC and, yes, we wondered how you were doing it ALL…the parenting, the writing, the teaching. It’s hard for all of us, and you make it look so easy. Thanks for reminding us to look to Jesus, the true image of perfection. It’s through our weakness that we learn of His strength. (Oh, and give that cute baby a kiss for us!) 🙂
Thank you, Ashley! And thanks for keeping in touch and for reading and for just being sweet. I need more people like you in my life. 🙂