October 16, 2014
I was supposed to be writing my blog last night.
It was going to be moving and articulate. You were probably going to be in tears. I had set aside time for it, even planned for Josh and the kids to be out of the house so I could whip it out without all their helpful interruptions.
Instead, Josh and I had a good solid fight about the mayonnaise and lettuce he bought and that was the end of that. (Wait. That sounds a tad familiar, doesn’t it?)
Plans change quickly around here, and I’m trying to learn how to be flexible.
Growing up, I was the girl who practically lettered in People Pleasing, and he was the kid who terrorized the teachers. (I wonder if any of our former teachers read this?? Vouche for me, willya?)
He was (and is) happy-go-lucky. I was (and will always) play by the rules.
Josh can sneeze and make people laugh. I can spend an hour dictating a funny quip on Facebook and get crickets.
We are different.
And then I yell at him about groceries, and I’m reminded that I’m glad we’re different because Happy-Go-Lucky can get yelled at and still like me afterwards.
It’s a pretty good gig I’ve got going on here.
So if you’re expecting an earth-shatteringly amazing blog this week, I just can’t do it. I’m calling an audible and changing something I had planned. On purpose! (One of my professors did this once and canceled an end-of-the-year project on a whim. It is still one of the greatest memories of my life.)
I ditched this blog last night for my husband and hot tea and a completely nerdy game of settlements and development cards because 1.) he loves it and 2.) I love him and 3.) I’ve done a crappy job of showing him lately.
So that’s my challenge to you too, ladies (and fellas). Not to play Settlers of Catan (though 10 out of 10 nerds would say you should probably do that too), but to care for your spouse’s soul a little extra today.
I heard a marriage guru ask it once on the radio and it’s stuck with me. What have you done for your marriage today? Not lately. Not yesterday. Today.
Personally, I haven’t done much, today or otherwise. I’ve done a lot of taking and not a lot of giving. I’ve stressed over blogs and speaking events and moaned over morning sickness, and I’ve let him pick up a lot of the slack.
I haven’t cared for his soul.
So in the learning and failing and re-trying that is marriage, it’s taken me 10-some years to be able to say, “This blog is important to me, and the people who read it are important to me, but my husband is more important to me.” Or, even harder, “My children are important to me and being able to walk through this house without stepping on Cheerios is important to me, but my husband comes first.”
So that’s that. Last night my husband came first, which means I don’t have much time for this blog today or later because kids and dinner and poopy diapers happen and I am calling an audible.
Short and sweet, folks: What have you done for your marriage today?
Think about it. And do it.
And I could use some ideas. What do you do to care for your spouse’s soul? And don’t say play more games, you know how I feel about games…
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