This has Something to do with Football (But I’m not Sure What)

I was supposed to be writing my blog last night.

It was going to be moving and articulate. You were probably going to be in tears. I had set aside time for it, even planned for Josh and the kids to be out of the house so I could whip it out without all their helpful interruptions.

Instead, Josh and I had a good solid fight about the mayonnaise and lettuce he bought and that was the end of that. (Wait. That sounds a tad familiar, doesn’t it?)

Plans change quickly around here, and I’m trying to learn how to be flexible.

~

Growing up, I was the girl who practically lettered in People Pleasing, and he was the kid who terrorized the teachers. (I wonder if any of our former teachers read this?? Vouche for me, willya?)

He was (and is) happy-go-lucky. I was (and will always) play by the rules.

Josh can sneeze and make people laugh. I can spend an hour dictating a funny quip on Facebook and get crickets.

Sigh.

We are different.

And then I yell at him about groceries, and I’m reminded that I’m glad we’re different because Happy-Go-Lucky can get yelled at and still like me afterwards.

It’s a pretty good gig I’ve got going on here.

So if you’re expecting an earth-shatteringly amazing blog this week, I just can’t do it. I’m calling an audible and changing something I had planned. On purpose! (One of my professors did this once and canceled an end-of-the-year project on a whim. It is still one of the greatest memories of my life.)

I ditched this blog last night for my husband and hot tea and a completely nerdy game of settlements and development cards because 1.) he loves it and 2.) I love him and 3.) I’ve done a crappy job of showing him lately.

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So that’s my challenge to you too, ladies (and fellas). Not to play Settlers of Catan (though 10 out of 10 nerds would say you should probably do that too), but to care for your spouse’s soul a little extra today.

I heard a marriage guru ask it once on the radio and it’s stuck with me. What have you done for your marriage today? Not lately. Not yesterday. Today.

Personally, I haven’t done much, today or otherwise. I’ve done a lot of taking and not a lot of giving. I’ve stressed over blogs and speaking events and moaned over morning sickness, and I’ve let him pick up a lot of the slack.

I haven’t cared for his soul.

So in the learning and failing and re-trying that is marriage, it’s taken me 10-some years to be able to say, “This blog is important to me, and the people who read it are important to me, but my husband is more important to me.” Or, even harder, “My children are important to me and being able to walk through this house without stepping on Cheerios is important to me, but my husband comes first.”

So that’s that. Last night my husband came first, which means I don’t have much time for this blog today or later because kids and dinner and poopy diapers happen and I am calling an audible.

Short and sweet, folks: What have you done for your marriage today?

Think about it. And do it.

~

 And I could use some ideas. What do you do to care for your spouse’s soul? And don’t say play more games, you know how I feel about games

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21 Comments:


  1. Jessica McDonald said:

    Excellent reminder, Hannah. How does the tending-to-your-husband concept seem so straight forward when you read it in books, but so much more challenging on a daily basis? I speak from way less experience than you on this topic, but I already feel the pulls and the tugs of the “getting used to” life together…the bad kind of “getting used to” that sucks out creativity and fresh life. Glad you played Settlers…and I hope you won! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Everything is easier in books. 🙂

      Real life with real emotions tend to cause us to justify things, I think. Like justifying that our marriages (however long or short) don’t need any special tending. It does only get harder, unfortunately. But that also makes really little things even more special, just because we usually don’t think about the little things anymore. I tell Josh all the time, “Just bring me home a some Starbursts without me asking for them, and I’ll be the happiest woman alive.” That’s all it takes. Something little so I am reminded that he notices me.

      So it gets easier and harder, I think, if that makes any sense…

      Reply

    2. Hannah Post author said:

      And, yes, I did win. 😉

      Reply

  2. sally apokedak said:

    Love Settlers of Catan. Love the Star Trek version the most.

    And love this blog post. too.

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      I had no idea there were so many Settlers fans, although I also had no idea a Star Trek version even existed. Not that I would understand it anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a single episode of Star Trek…so can we still be friends? I know you Trekkies are pretty hardcore. 😉

      Reply

      1. sally apokedak said:

        Oh, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. Of course we can still be friends. I have no animosity toward you. I have nothing but pity for the impoverished people who don’t know the joys of Star Trek. 🙂

        And, in regards to an answer you gave below–two-person Settlers is great. You just have to adjust the game. My sister and I play all the time. There are rules for two person play. check ’em out:

        http://lmgtfy.com/?q=two-person+settler+of+catan+rules

        Reply

        1. Hannah Post author said:

          Ooh! Thanks for the link! Aren’t you handy?!?

          Reply

  3. Rhonda Rouse said:

    I’m beginning to think we might be related…oh that’s right, we are! You put into words exactly what runs through my mind all too often. I too am blessed with a laid-back hubby who tends to let it slide when I harangue him over the “little things”. Maybe I’ll take him his favorite chocolate tonight and give him a foot rub. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder!

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Oh, I hope you do, Rhonda! And tell him he can thank me later. 😉

      Reply

  4. Devi said:

    I LOVE Settlers as well. We play the German version (and I’m sure it’s the same).. although I’ve never played it with only two people – is it still fun?

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Settlers fans are truly worldwide!!

      It’s okay with two people, best with four I think. Trading is difficult with two, especially when one of you gets stingy. 🙂

      Reply

  5. Anonymous said:

    Thank you for the simple reminder that sometimes everything else needs to wait! I am so guilty of not stopping my to do list and loving on the people in front of me.

    fun game…. we should all play sometime

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Absolutely! It’s amazing to me how many people play this game! And here I thought we were odd. 🙂

      Reply

  6. Andrea Garrison said:

    Great reminder Hannah,

    For me it’s getting up extra early to cook dinner in the crockpot before going to work so when I get home getting dinner on the table and ready when he comes home. Enjoying dinner together as a couple, before Tom has to get back to work. Using that time at dinner to really connect is so important for our marriage.

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Absolutely. Great point, Andrea. Sacrificing to make dinner for your husband even when you have to go to work too is a wonderful example, even when it probably feels small to you. Tom is a lucky man!

      Reply

  7. Sarah said:

    Heard you speak at MOPs today and was blessed by your words about fear. Sat down to take a break just now and looked up your blog. And, again I am blessed by your words. I have a date with my hubby tonight and will now approach it with a different attitude instead of thinking of all the things I could be getting done.
    Blessings to you and your family.

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      Thank you, Sarah! I really, really enjoyed speaking to your group, and I hope you had a wonderful date!

      Reply

  8. Annie B. said:

    Hannah, I’m so glad I went to your blog today! I have struggled with everything you’re talking about…it’s so refreshing to hear that I’m not alone. But, balancing it all still eludes me. I haven’t blogged for MONTHS. MONTHS. So, way to go disciplining yourself and recording it all!

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      And NOT true. I read a great post by you on another site just a month or so ago. Besides, you have four kiddos. Who has time to blog? (I’m trying to prepare myself mentally for what’s to come. I’m assuming a the blog is going to suffer.)

      Reply

  9. Heather Bock said:

    Not funny?? You think you’re not funny? I laugh every time I read your blog! You have a great sense of humor! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hannah Post author said:

      And thanks for this. 🙂

      Reply

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